September 23 - STILL waiting...

I went to see the oncologist on Sept 7, as I mentioned in my previous blog. She didn't have the results from my biopsy but did give me a little insight on what I may be facing in terms of chemo and other drugs.

On Sept 13 I went back to my surgeon for the results. They're still not back! I knew that going in to the appointment because the clinic had actually cancelled my appointment that day because there were no results. But then they called me 3 1/2 hours later and said to come in anyway because the surgeon wanted to see me. Of course in the meantime I had told my friend who accompanies me to the "results-getting" appointments that I didn't need her. "Oh well," I thought, "there's no results anyway so I can just go on my own." Oh foolish, foolish me. The final results are not back yet but the surgeon had spoken with the pathologist and they had an initial diagnosis.

The good news (and I keep trying to focus on the good news) is that the breast cancer has not metastasized. The bad news is apparently I have a second cancer. (Buy one, get one free!)

We're still waiting for the final pathology report (expected by middle of this week) but the pathologist thinks I have lymphoma as well as the breast cancer. There are 60-70 different types of lymphoma and which one I have is the unknown piece of information. Oh, and if the amount of "tissue" (i.e. part of my body) is insufficient for them to make a definitive diagnosis, then they have to go in and take some more. Another biopsy and another wait.

All I can say is ARGH!

Apparently if I have to have two cancers, these two are the easiest to cure. (Metastatic breast cancer is not curable, which is why this is good news.)
But wouldn't you know - the people who "know someone how had lymphoma" are all telling me about it and how that person died from it. People are just so insensitive sometimes.

I keep focusing on how many lymphoma's have a 97%+ cure rate and I'm not going to think beyond that until I know which one I have. but you know what, Sparkers? I'm scared as hell and I'm not afraid to admit it. I'm not ready to die yet. I still have a lot of living to do, including seeing my two sons fully grown and on their own with happy families of their own.

Sorry to be so negative but it's pretty hard to keep my usual optimism going lately. I'll post here again once I have the final diagnosis. Hopefully it will be soon and good news.

Karen

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As of August 30th...waiting for the results

I had my second biopsy yesterday. Of course I don't have the results yet. I'm playing the waiting game again. I go to the oncologist on September 7. This is a new doctor. I still have Dr. Niaz, my surgeon, but now I have Dr. Enright, a medical oncologist. Hopefully she's as good as those I've seen before at this hospital. I'm sure she is. They're all terrific. I just hope that on September 7th, I'll be told the total treatment plan and not that we have to do more tests. I'm starting to know how the patients on "House" feel.

I was also thinking how nice it will be to get a second opinion about the chemo. I mean, after all, if the cancer has not metastisized, why do I have to go through all that.

Oh, one more thing against chemo. Weeks ago I made a STUPID bet with my 22 year old son that I won't have to do chemo and if I do, I have to dye my hair bright pink just before the first chemo session. I figured that way, at least I only have to walk around with pink hair for two weeks or so. What was I thinking?!

Karen

Join me on my journey through cancer - again.

On July 28, I got the call to come back to the hospital to have further mammogram tests done. That in itself is not unusual. With DD breasts, I’m used to being called back to get a better picture. But then, came the words that made my heart sink ... and an ultrasound.

“Oh, crap!” I thought. The last time I had ultrasound performed on my breasts was in 2004 when I had breast cancer. These new tests were all to be done on the same side that I’d had a lumpectomy seven years ago. Unfortunately, the earliest appointment I could get was Tuesday afternoon after the Civic Holiday long weekend. I spent the long weekend obsessing about why they needed to do an ultrasound.

Ironically, once I had the chance to talk with the radiologist, I felt better. Yes, there was a “dark spot” on the mammogram and yes, they confirmed its location with the ultrasound, but it could be scar tissue as much as a tumour. But...they needed a biopsy to find out. Ugh! The last time I had a biopsy; it was the worst part of the entire process. Not because it was the most painful – it wasn’t – but because I wasn’t prepared for the pain. I was definitely not looking forward to it.

The earliest appointment I could get for the biopsy was the afternoon of August 19th. I was supposed to be out of town that day, so I chose to postpone the test to the following Monday. I wasn’t worried about the three day delay. After all, it was just scar tissue, right? If the medical profession thought it could wait for 2 weeks, then they must not be expecting bad results, right?


As luck would have it, I was able to get an earlier appointment when someone cancelled. So, on August 11, I showed up at Credit Valley Hospital for my biopsy. The woman at the check-in counter told me that the test results would take 2-3 weeks to come back. “The lab is really backed up”, she said. But, the radiologist said “no, with your history, you’ll get the results in 10 days”. Well, it took just 6 days. On Wednesday, August 17, when I picked up the phone and it was my doctor (not her nurse) on the phone, I knew it was not good news.

“I’m afraid the results are not good,” she says, “it’s definitely cancer again.” So I was playing the waiting game again – this time for the referral to the oncologist. I didn’t have long to wait. The next day, I got a call from the hospital that my appointment was the very next morning. Wouldn’t you know – it was the same day that I was supposed to be out of town. I guess I wasn’t meant to go after all.


Okay, new plan...go see the oncologist in the morning, then drive myself up to the off-site location instead of going with the group. So I went to see Dr. Niaz once again, greeting him with “I was hoping to never see you again.” Humour – my favourite coping strategy.

Unfortunately, the appointment did not give me the information I had hoped. I wasn’t told what my treatment plan would be. Dr. Niaz wanted to do more tests to see whether or not the cancer has spread – the dreaded word – metastisized. Oh goodie – something else to worry about! He did share with me that my options are much more limited with recurrent breast cancer. I have to have a mastectomy this time – no option. So really, we’re waiting to see if I have to have chemotherapy and just how much.

Off I went to my out-of-town appointment on pins and needles wondering how much time I have to wait this time. Again, I didn’t have long to wait. I had an appointment for a bone scan on Monday (ironically, the day I first scheduled for the biopsy) and a CT scan on Wednesday. Then it was back to Dr. Niaz to find out the results and my treatment plan.

Not so fast, young lady! I heard some great news – there was no cancer in my bones or in my organs. WooHoo! But some not so great news. Some of my lymph nodes are swollen. This could be bad. But, it could also be a simple infection treatable with antibiotics. So, I’m going back to the hospital for more biopsies on Monday, perhaps followed by more tests until they know for sure what we’re dealing with.


Since this is my second go ‘round with cancer, I will probably have to undergo chemotherapy anyway. But, I’m okay with that. After Dr. Niaz told me what I’m going to have to have a mastectomy, I spent the next few days getting my head around that and now I’m okay with it. When he told me that I’d probably have to have chemo, I spent a few days getting my head around that, too. At this point, I’m just praying that my lymphatic system is cancer free.

Once this is all figured out and I have the mastectomy, I have to be off work for at least 3 weeks. What happens after that depends on what they find. Eventually, I’m going to have reconstructive surgery. It may take a while (like a year or more) but I’m going to keep plugging away. Hey, the way I look at it is this: I will have a new left breast, they will work on the right breast to make them the same, so I’ll have a boob-job paid for by Ontario’s Health Insurance. Remember at the beginning of this blog I said that I have DD breasts? After reconstruction, hopefully they will be a more reasonable size.

More good news – they won’t be able to use an artificial implant. They’ll have to take some flesh from my tummy. If you ever saw my tummy, you can imagine my reaction: “well, there’s plenty there. Take it all.” So, a boob-job and tummy tuck paid for by the government. There’s always a silver lining, if you just look for it.